dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
