Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You left your phone here
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