I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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