Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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