how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
only if we run a train.
done.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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