I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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