Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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