so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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