So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
