yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
