i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
