so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
