you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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