Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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