My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.