I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry