it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.