This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to make a zoo with you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
