There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
