She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
