So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love having hate sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
