BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
