but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
