I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
