True but thats because hes a fetus.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
