My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
