i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
