that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
