I wannas sexs uuuuu
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
