You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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