Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
