whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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