I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
