Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
