i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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