So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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