I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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