Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Still dying that you shit outside
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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