Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
