please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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