he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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