I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
