Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
