i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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