im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
