You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
