there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
