Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
