i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
