We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize