either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
