I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
