We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
this hospital has no fireball
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
