It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
