you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You ate ashes out of my bong
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
