how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize