Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it glows. i had to have it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
