South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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